健康Q&A – 千萬不能聽喔~

 

新加坡同事寄給我的，她的老闆跟我的老闆都去愛爾蘭開會了，所以你知道的... when the cat’s away, the mice will play。這個禮拜我們幾隻小老鼠放暑假，天下太平，開心的勒~ (圖片是我剛好在網路上搜尋「生機飲食」的時候看到的...)

 

(低卡飲食一點用都沒有，我每餐都吃魚，可是屁股還是垂在地上拖。)

 

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION 健康問與答 (我翻成中文放下面)

 

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? 

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?   Take a nap. 

問：多作心肺運動真的能延長壽命嗎?

答：這輩子你的心臟在壽終衰竭前就只能跳那麼多下，所以不要浪費在運動上。讓心跳加速並不會讓你活更久，就像車子並不會因為你開更快而延長使用壽命。想活久一點嗎? 去睡一下吧。

 

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? 

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.  And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?   Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

問：我需要減少肉類攝取並且多吃蔬果嗎?

答：這是個補給效率的問題。牛吃草跟玉米，這些都是蔬菜，所以吃牛排等於更有效的將蔬菜送進體內。如果需要榖類營養就吃雞肉，需要綠葉蔬菜就吃牛肉。豬肉能夠100%提供您一天所需的蔬果養分。

(吃蔬菜減肥還可以抗壓。只要用力把蔬菜咬的嘎吱作響，你就聽不到死小孩在餐桌上的哭鬧靠夭聲!)

 

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? 

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! 

問：我需要減少飲酒嗎?

答：完全不需要。紅酒是由水果製成的，而白蘭地則是蒸餾過的酒，意思就是將水從水果中抽離，因此您能從中得到更多的精華養分。啤酒也是由榖類製成。所以，乎乾啦~

 

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?  

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.   If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

問：我要如何計算體脂率?

答：體脂率的公式是「身體除以脂肪」，所以果你有一個身體，那比例就是1：1。如果你有兩個身體，那比例就是2：1，以此類推。

 

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? 

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain... Good! 

問：固定運動健身有什麼好處嗎?

答：對不起，我完全想不到。我的生活哲學是：沒有痛苦... 是好事。(俗諺：沒有痛苦付出就沒有收穫。)

(每按滑鼠600萬下，就可以減重一磅。)

 

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? 

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.  In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? 

問：油炸食物是不是有害健康?

答：老師在講你有沒有在聽!? 油炸食物用的都是植物油，因此蔬菜精華都滲透在炸過的食物中。多攝取蔬菜怎麼會有害健康呢?

 

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? 

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. 

問：仰臥起坐可以幫助我消除鮪魚肚嗎?

答：當然不可能! 肌肉越運動會越大塊。如果你想有個大肚腩，你就作吧。

 

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? 

A: Are you crazy? HELLO~ Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! 

問：可以吃巧克力嗎?

答：妳頭殼壞去了嗎? 當然可以啊! 可可豆也是蔬菜植物的一種呀~ 巧克力是世界上吃了最爽的食物啦~

(如果吃素可以減肥，那為什麼要餵牛跟豬榖類來增肥?)

 

Q: Is swimming good for your figure? 

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. 

問：游泳可以雕塑身材曲線嗎?

答：如果可以的話，那鯨魚是怎麼一回事?

 

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? 

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! 

問：保持身材體態很重要嗎?

答：喂~!! 「圓滾滾」也是一種身材啊~

 

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

希望以上問與答能夠一掃您對食物與減重的誤解。